Loneliness & Joy
Loneliness creeps in, during the most common moments, when you are driving home late from a party or just inside on a rainy day. It comes to tell you that this state will be permanent, and you are not good enough for companionship of any kind or even to suggest there must be something wrong with you. Right? Or not having contentment when you are alone.
Sometimes all it takes is the right Toni Braxton or Usher song to have us all in our feelings. But the lies from loneliness can cause us to pursue what could possibly be unhealthy and damaging.
When I feel lonely, I Want someone to talk to,
to laugh with to bond and connect with. It is almost like you have so much love to give and no one seems to see the love that is overflowing from within.
How do we create a space that removes loneliness and embraces solitude? How?
I have a few ideas; reading is a great way. you can choose stories both fiction and nonfiction that speak to the many facets of you. The goofy side, the sensitive side and all the spaces in the middle. You can also do audiobooks if they help you to stay focused during the story.
Another great way is to journal, to discover what brings you peace and comfort then practice those things. Some would call it self-care. This allows you to appreciate solitude and take satisfaction in caring for and learning who you are.
For example, I love the beach. Although Chicago is known as the Windy City, summertime Chi is real and a whole vibe. From April to September that is where you will find me at one of our 24 beaches. It's something about the sand, sun and water that calms my soul. Nature releases a level of tranquility that is unmatched to others. So, for you find that, find what external pleasure brings youinternal joy!
How else do we create a space that removes loneliness and embraces solitude you may ask?
Do things that you would want to do with someone else, alone. Some have mastered doing errands and dinner out alone, but I am referring to like those experiences you find on IG or Tik- Tok, do it alone. Go to the arcade or that pop-up shop alone. Not just going for a Pedi but book a weekend vacation for just you! If this isn't something you are used to then initially it will feel awkward. It will have you looking around and seeing families and couples together and you are thinking, what am I doing? But just as anything else over time you will get more and more comfortable, and you will be sitting at the bar or standing in line with excitement for the experience and not focused on the fact you are there alone.
Some of us are used to traveling alone for work or spending the summers alone because our children spend time with family, that’s me! It may have become custom, and you don't recognize the loneliness. But through experience I’ve learned you can be accustomed to something that is not your preference.
These are just a few options that has helped me convert loneliness into joy, and I hope it encourages and inspires you to do the same.
Now don't forget.....
Love the woman you are becoming!!!!