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A Page From My Journal

Today, my emotions swirl like a tumultuous sea, wrestling with feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and uncertainty. Some days, it seems like my dreams and prayers are drifting further away, left unanswered in the wake of life's mysteries.

I find solace in the word of the Lord, knowing that some of my prayers have been heard, yet there are still some that remain unanswered, and I can't help but wonder why. Among all the things I ever desired, the one I yearn for the most seems elusive, just out of my grasp.

I've always been there for others, clapping for their victories, smiling through their celebrations, and genuinely rejoicing in their happiness. Still, I can't help but ask, when will it be my turn?

Father, time seems to be passing quickly, and the world feels uncertain. I long for companionship and a family to share my life with, but the path to such blessings remains unclear. When will my dreams align with reality?

Deep down, I know that God is enough, and I am genuinely content with the life I have. I am grateful for every moment, and I recognize the countless blessings I've received. Yet, I would be dishonest if I denied my desire for marriage and more children.

My heart never yearned for fame or wealth. Instead, I longed for a family rich in God's love and bound by loyalty to each other. A loving partner to share my joys and sorrows, and little souls to fill our home with laughter and love.

Amidst these thoughts and emotions, I find myself grappling with self-doubt. Is it something I'm doing wrong, or is it simply a matter of divine timing? I don't have all the answers, but I trust that God has a plan, and I must find strength and peace during this single season of my life.

In these moments of introspection and vulnerability, I surrender my fears and uncertainties to the Divine. I find comfort in knowing that even in the waiting, there is growth and purpose. I will continue to cherish the present, holding onto hope, and nurturing the belief that the future will unfold as it's meant to be. For now, I embrace this single season, embracing the love and joy it brings, and trusting that the best is yet to come.

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