• requeljasminewrite

Mom Guilt

Updated: Jul 12

The very first time I heard the term “mom guilt” was a few years ago. I was working as a general sales manager at a costume jewelry store and I believe Halloween was coming up. At this moment I and my assistant were discussing the plans we had for the upcoming holiday. And I was like, “Well we don’t really celebrate Halloween but I still try to do something the day after or the day before just so my daughter doesn’t feel left out. And she followed up with, “Yes, mom guilt is so real.”

Then at that moment I was like wait, “What!?” and she went on to explain “mom guilt”. Then I started thinking and I was like oh my goodness, slow your roll are you telling me that all this time I’ve been spending thousands of dollars on Christmas gifts throwing over-the-top birthday parties and it was all out of mom guilt? I worked a lot too much I felt and being in management, my job was very demanding. Let's not add being a single parent to the mix. So everything that I had done for the last eight years flashes before my eyes. It was unsettling to admit it was strictly out of “mom guilt”.

As I unwrapped my thoughts it was clear that my decisions concerning my daughter weren't because I love her or because I wanted her to have a great childhood. No, because I thought she was missing out because I felt bad that I wasn’t as present as I wanted to be and I was trying to overcompensate for it. Wow! That is terrible, I mean yes it stems from love but to reflect the FOMO (fear of missing out) onto my young daughter is beyond unhealthy.

Where does your “mom guilt” originate from? Is it all of the times you had to tell your child no because you didn’t have enough money to buy that special toy they desperately desired? Or does it come from the days you had to drop your babies off at daycare and as you pull away you see the young, fit mom with her Lululemon leggings, Asisc’s on, hair pulled back in a ponytail with her infant in the latest trendy jogging stroller and you envy their quality time as you head off to work.

Either way, once we identify when and where the “mom guilt” started then we can reject the lies we speak to our minds and overcome the lies by loving our children from the right place and not a place of guilt.

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